What To Do When a Loved One Passes Away: A Practical Estate Checklist
Losing someone you love is overwhelming—emotionally and logistically. On top of grief, families are suddenly faced with handling an estate, navigating paperwork, and making legal decisions they’ve never had to think about.
If you know me, you know I’m all about lists. This guide breaks down the essential steps you should take after a loved one passes, in the order that makes life easiest. Every family situation is different, but these are the core items almost everyone will need to address.
1. Make Funeral and Burial Arrangements
Before anything else, confirm your loved one’s funeral preferences.
Check for:
- Pre-paid funeral contracts
- Directions in a will
- Notes left with family or in personal paperwork
- Military service records (for veterans’ benefits)
2. Obtain Certified Death Certificates
You will need multiple certified copies.
I recommend:
- At least one (1) long-form for the probate court
- Several short-form copies for banks, insurance companies, and financial institutions
Ask the funeral home to order these—they make it much easier.
3. Secure the Home and Personal Property
Grief can bring out the best and the worst in people.
Do this early:
- Change the locks if necessary
- Document the contents of the home (take video and pictures in addition to any lists)
- Forward mail (make sure it is going to the correct person… i.e., named personal representative, sole beneficiary, etc; if you don’t know, let’s meet!)
- Safeguard valuables, important documents, pets, and vehicles
4. Gather Estate Planning Documents
Locate:
- Last Will & Testament
- Trust documents
- Codicils or amendments
- Power of Attorney (they expire at death)
- Advance directives (not needed for probate but often stored in the same place)
If you find multiple originals or conflicting versions, do not destroy anything—your attorney needs to review them.
5. Compile a Complete List of Assets
List every asset along with:
- How it is titled (individual, joint, trust, business, etc.)
- Whether it has a payable-on-death (POD) or transfer-on-death (TOD) beneficiary
- Last known balances
- Location of accounts or property
Include:
- Bank accounts
- Real property
- Retirement accounts
- Life insurance policies
- Vehicles
- Business interests
- Personal Property
- Investment Accounts
- Digital assets (yes, these matter now)
This helps determine whether probate is required and, if so, what type.
6. Create a List of All Debts and Liabilities
Gather statements for:
- Credit cards
- Personal loans
- Medical bills
- Mortgages
- Car loans
- Final utility bills
Only debts solely in the decedent’s name are relevant for probate.
7. Identify All Beneficiaries and Heirs
Create a list that includes:
- Full legal names
- Addresses
- Phone numbers
- Email addresses
- Relationship to the decedent
Your attorney will need this for probate paperwork and to provide proper legal notice.
8. Notify Key People and Institutions
This often includes:
- Employer
- Social Security Administration
- Pension administrators
- Life insurance companies
- Banks and financial advisors
- HOA or condo association
- VA (if applicable)
These notifications prevent fraud and stop benefits from being paid out incorrectly. However, I strongly recommend to sit with an experienced probate attorney before notifying anyone to go over the specific facts of your case.
9. Locate the Decedent’s Mail and Online Accounts
Mail often reveals hidden assets.
Also check digital platforms such as:
- Online banking
- Amazon/PayPal/Venmo accounts
- Social media
- Cloud storage
- Password vaults
Digital assets are frequently forgotten but can contain financial information or ongoing subscriptions.
10. Meet With a Probate Attorney
Even if you believe no probate is necessary, an attorney can confirm this and guide you on next steps. A quick consult can save a family thousands in unnecessary fees or mistakes (or litigation).
11. Avoid These Common Mistakes
- Don’t distribute property early. You may be personally liable.
- Don’t use the decedent’s debit/credit card. That is unlawful.
- Don’t close accounts prematurely. You may need records for probate.
- Don’t ignore deadlines for claims, taxes, or court filings.
12. Take Care of Yourself
Grief makes everything harder.
This process takes time—legally and emotionally.
Lean on family, your attorney, and trusted professionals.
You don’t have to do any of this alone.